Free time

The life I currently lead is not filled with much if any free time. Between work, kids, and exercise I don’t usually get a whole lot a free time. It’s wake up in the morning get my grind on at work, home to play/feed/clean/clean up after the kids, and then eat OR workout.

But lately (last month+ if I’m being honest) I found that working out takes a back seat and my grind at work has slowed down and now I find myself typing this post instead of finding something to work on before my next meeting….

I feel like I’ve gotten myself into a unproductive groove and I want out of it.

BUT

I don’t want to put the work that I know needs to go into it,.. well into it.

I truthfully feel tired from the top of my head to my big toe 90% of the time right now and digging deep to push through that and get work done has not happened.

I think/know that stuff going on in my personal life has me down, (has had me down) and fighting these demons sucks a lot out of me.

All I can think to do is keep when I fail… Or pressure myself with a standard and do my best to uphold that standard no matter what.

I leave myself thinking about what do if I don’t meet my own standard?,.. if nothing or enforcing more good living upon myself just seems counter productive. Even positive reinforcement seems unproductive..

And so the circle gets deep and dark.

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